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Sermon Notes

July 27, 2025

Living It Out: A Christ-Centered Home

Colossians 3:18-21

When we have a relationship with Jesus, we literally have a new identity! As followers of Jesus, we should strive to look and live more like Jesus every day. Colossians 3:17 reminds us, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Understand that to say that in all things, whether spiritual or not, we should be able to say, “I am doing this in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Scripture is saying that you should think of every interaction as done in Jesus’ name, as an act of worship to Him. “Whatever we do, in word or deed, do everything”, first and foremost, for Jesus Christ.

Every bit of our life is interconnected and is to be lived in light of the transformation that has taken place within us because of the work of Christ. Marriage and family relationships are the same! A Christ-centered home reflects the lordship of Jesus in every relationship.

God’s design and desire for the family is established as part of the created order in Gen 2:18-25. The intimacy and relational unity we share in marriage, under God’s design, is a beautiful picture of the relationship we have with God through Jesus. As part of the fall of man, the established husband-and-wife relationship was strained, God’s design was perverted, and the home began to deteriorate. However, God provides a way for homes to be redeemed and reconciled through the work of Jesus Christ.

Our roles and responsibilities are specifically designed by Him for a purpose and we must submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ first to have our homes centered where they should be. We are ultimately accountable to Christ in our roles within marriage. God does not ever expect family members to subject themselves to abuse or to do anything unbiblical, immoral, or illegal in fulfilling our roles and responsibilities in the home, but apart from these exceptions, we are responsible for fulfilling our role regardless of how well someone else is fulfilling theirs.

Colossians 3:18-21 (ESV)
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

  • A Christ-Centered Wife Submits in the Lord. (v. 18)


When God instituted marriage in the Garden, back in Genesis 2, He said that it was “not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen 2:18) God gave Eve to Adam as his wife. This design is where Paul launches his teaching from.

The household teaching begins with “wives, submit to your husbands…” The term “submit” has been grossly misunderstood in a lot of ways today and in the past. Paul is not promoting extreme prejudice toward women to allow men to abuse them. The submission spoken about here is not a license for domineering leadership in the home where it’s husband’s way or the highway. Paul is not using some outdated cultural concept. To understand this concept in any of those ways is wrong and misses the heart of the entire passage.

Paul uses a totally different word for the role of the wife than he does for the role of others within the household. For children, he uses the word “obey” in an authoritarian way. For the role of the wife, he is careful to use “submit”. The term “submit”, as used here, describes a willingness to set aside the right to lead in order to follow the leading of another. It shows equality in the personhood of the wife and the husband in a marriage. The term does not communicate a subordinate role for the wife.

There is a created order God provides for us to live in. When we properly live within this framework, we are brought a great sense of joy and fulfilment as we lay aside our own desires and rights and live in the manner that God has directed. In true biblical submission, rights are not taken away. They are laid aside for the sake of obedience to another authority and for the good of the other individual. The role of the wife, then, is to voluntarily yield to her husband’s leadership as a display of trust in God’s design.

When it says “as is fitting in the Lord” we know that there are qualifications for that submission. “As is fitting for the Lord,” has implications for both the wife and her submission. For the wife, she is to be like Christ and submit willingly. However, as is fitting in the Lord, the wife only should submit as far as the husband does not lead her into sin. A loving and Christ-centered husband would never ask his wife to do anything that would compromise her walk with Christ. If he did, the wife has no responsibility to fulfill that request.

Scripture is clear that the God-ordained order for marriage is to have the husband as the spiritual head and leader of the home with the wife as the helpmate. It is important for a husband and wife to continually talk through things and work together to find the best way for wives to submit to the leadership of the husband, and for husbands to encourage that submission by leading in a way that we will talk about shortly. A wife’s dignity and devotion to her husband are ultimately expressions of her love and devotion for Christ and should be offered “as is fitting in the Lord.”

  • A Christ-Centered Husband Loves Selflessly. (v. 19)


In Ephesians 5 again, we know that husbands are told to love their wife as Christ loved the church. Christ’s love for the church is a servant love. Husbands loving like Christ means that we show a sacrificial and selfless love to our wife. Husbands are to lay down their own desires and consider their wife more important than themselves. Leading in this way makes it easier for them to submit to your leadership.

As a Christ-centered husband, we are responsible for the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of our wife. The whole purpose of this is help them grow in their relationship with Christ so they can honor Him with all they do. A loving husband would never ask his wife to do anything that would compromise her walk with Christ. For that to happen, our love and care must be rooted in our passion and devotion to Jesus. Husbands love their wife in such a sacrificial way that it should encourage their wife to deepen her love and devotion to Jesus Christ.

The husband’s intimate knowledge of his wife is critical to a husband truly loving and faithfully serving his wife “in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Christ knows us that way; our good qualities, our sinful qualities and everything in between. His knowledge of our weakness allows Christ to intercede for us before the Father. Husbands can do the same for their wife in taking her before the Lord in prayer to help her grow deeper in her relationship with Christ.

Paul says we should not be harsh with our wife. If we are harsh with our wife, her response toward us and our marriage will be filled with bitterness. Bigger than that, her response to the Lord could be filled with bitterness remembering our responses to one another are first and foremost to the Lord. A husband’s submission to the lordship of Jesus Christ identifies Him as the leader the home. A husband who loves Jesus and loves the way He does will make his wife’s submission a great joy.

  • A Christ-Centered Child Obeys Their Parents. (v. 20)


When our marriage relationship is Christ-centered as God has commanded, there is God-honoring leadership which helps our children learn to trust authority. When children see Christ-centered submission in a marriage relationship, they also see how to properly submit to authority for the purpose of obedience and the good of those around them. When children see proper love and grace in a marriage relationship, they are able to fail without fear.

The command here is simply, “Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” The understanding of this verse is the continual obedience from children to parents. This is complete obedience in everything and that pleases the Lord. If children are going to live under the authority and lordship of Jesus Christ as their Savior, part of that as a child, is willingly obeying your parents. If you are willingly disobeying your parents, then you are walking against the will of God in your life and that is sin.

To follow and obey God, to be Christ-centered, includes following and obeying your parents. Your obedience is a result of your submission to God’s authority in your life and the expectation to “do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Parents, like the rest of us, are broken and sinful and will mess things up. God is perfect and will never fail us. When parents fall short and don’t parent the way they should, children, be encouraged that God will never mess up in His care for you. Your obedience to Christ provides peace in your life because you are doing what God intends for you to do and that pleases and glorifies Him! There is a joy in submitting to the Lordship of Christ by obeying your parents.

  • A Christ-Centered Parent Nurtures, Not Provokes. (v. 21)


The home was designed by God to cultivate hearts that love Jesus and live for Him to produce a godly heritage of Christ followers. The command here is addressed to fathers, emphasizing our submission to God, and reinforcing the created order where the husband is to be the spiritual leader of the home. The role of the mother in parenting is equally important as the original language is inclusive of the mother, as well.

Our children, like the rest of humanity, have been born with a sin nature and are inclined to neglect or rebel against instruction. As sinful parents, we are inclined to neglect or rebel against teaching our children. Neglecting that is a huge detriment to our children as they grow and move through life. Our children will ultimately be held accountable for what they do with Christ, but it is our job to teach them about Christ. It is up to us as parents to teach our children the things of God.

Verse 21 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” To provoke someone can be thought of as causing someone to become angry or embittered. Paul is saying, avoid doing the things that will help cause your children to sin.

We must nurture our children to avoid discouraging them and crushing their spirit. When they are discouraged, they will look for acceptance anywhere they can find it. The number one way that we can nurture our children is to parent “in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Living the Gospel out in every word and deed with our children. We cannot teach our children what we do not know ourselves. If we are not modeling it for them and showing them how it applies to every facet of life on a daily basis, then we are not showing them the Gospel and teaching them about God.

Wives, are you submitting in the Lord? Husbands, are you loving selflessly as you lead? Children, are you obeying your parents? And parents, are you nurturing your children? Weigh these questions against Colossians 3:17. Are you “doing everything in the name of the Lord Jesus”?
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