September 1, 2024
The Valley of Hurt
2 Corinthians 2:5-11
This week, we are starting a new sermon series called “From Valleys to Victory”. We will be looking at various valleys we all find ourselves in from time-to-time and how to claim victory during those hard times through Jesus Christ. This morning, I want to start by looking at the Valley of Hurt. I wanted to start with this valley because it’s something we have all experienced. The fact that we all have experienced it, there is very little we have in common when it comes to the hurt we have experienced. When we think of hurt it will mean very different things to each one of us. For some of us, when we think of the valley of hurt, our minds go to a physical hurt we have experienced; for others it is an emotional hurt, and for some it might even be a spiritual hurt. However that’s not the only variable there is when it comes to hurt, who has brought the hurt upon us will vary widely as well. For some of us we have experienced hurt from a stranger, for some it’s from our spouse, some from our (supposed) friends, some from our children, some from our parents, some from coworkers, some from spiritual leaders, and that list goes on and on. We can also experience hurt out of different motives. Some hurts we have experienced are accidental while others are intentional transgressions (purposefully crossing the line) against us. Sometimes we even experience hurt that is not firsthand, but because someone has hurt someone that we care about. Even the path to healing those hurts is going to look different for all of us. All these variations when it comes to hurts in our lives it is very difficult to speak to all of these in one sermon. However, since we are looking for victory in this valley of hurt, we need to talk about the steps to climbing out of that valley and finding victory. There is one step along that path to finding victory in our hurt that we all have in common and that is the step of forgiveness. So this morning let us look to Scripture to see how we can have victory over the hurts in our lives through forgiveness by looking at 2 Corinthians 2:5-6. In this section of the letter to the church in Corinth we will see what forgiveness is, what it isn’t, what it looks like played out in our lives, and what effect it has upon our lives as well as those who have hurt us.
What Forgiveness is Not - 2 Corinthians 2:5-6
I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough.
Paul is writing again to the church in Corinth and has just opened this letter speaking about his and his companions' struggles and their change of plans to write instead of visiting the church. As he jumps into the meat of the letter his first point is to address a certain man who has hurt those in the church. Now there is an assumption by some that this was the same man that was mentioned in chapter 5 of the first letter to the church that Paul called for church discipline to be carried out against and that is a possibility. But the ambiguity of the language used here precludes us from making a definitive statement about the man's identity or his offense. This lends to our sermon perfectly because it’s in this ambiguity that we find the truth that will aid all of us as we work to get out of this valley and to see victory in our lives. The truth is they were hurt, it doesn’t matter what it was or how it happened or how egregious it was, everyone at the church was hurt in some way, Paul was even hurt and it’s possible he was hurt because the church was hurt. Personally, I find that the hurt you experience because someone you love was hurt is the worst kind of hurt you can experience, and therefore the hardest type to forgive. I only mention that to help us think about those hurts that we experienced vicariously through a loved one as we continue because it might be that hurt that God wants to deal with in your life today.
When we think of forgiveness there are a lot of things that might come to mind that would make us want to hold back from giving someone who has hurt us, forgiveness. Many of those things are not what forgiveness is all about. Paul mentions one thing here that seems to address a dominant false notion when it comes to forgiveness — the relationship between punishment and forgiveness. Paul makes mention of a punishment that this man had received because of his actions. Notice that he does not criticize nor admonish anything about the punishment itself. In his book “Forgiving and Reconciling”, Everett Washington reminds us that “Forgiveness does not erase a transgression. It does not change the nature of the transgression to somehow turn a wrong into a right.” There is a feeling that when we forgive someone, we are excusing them for what they have done, giving them a pass, and nothing could be further from the truth. True forgiveness must be coupled with justice. To really understand this we need to think about the ultimate example we have of forgiveness — God’s forgiveness. Last week we looked at King David who sought forgiveness after sinning against God with Bathsheba and Uriah. God granted him forgiveness, but there were still consequences for David's sin. David’s consequences included the fact that his household would rebel, his wife would be taken, and the baby he conceived with Bathsheba would not live. There is no doubt that David, although forgiven, still had to face consequences. How about the experience we had when we trusted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and we received forgiveness for our sins? In that transaction, justice still had to be accomplished and carried out because God could not just forgive — it would be against His character, instead someone had to pay the price for our sins and the price that was paid was on the cross by Jesus Christ. Colossians 1:14 says “Jesus, paid the price for our sins and made us free. Yes, God has forgiven us". Therefore we see that from the ultimate example of the forgiveness that was given through the death of Jesus that justice still must be carried out in all those instances. How justice is carried out, we will speak of in the next point. We need to know that when we offer forgiveness for a hurt, we are not excusing the hurt, we are not removing the penalty for the hurt. But we are merely being obedient to do what God has called us to do and that is forgiveness. But how do we forgive?
What Forgiveness looks like - 2 Corinthians 2:7-8
Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.
After Paul acknowledges their hurt and the punishment the offender received, he quickly moves on and says that it’s time to forgive. But what is the right time to forgive? Scripture tells us at least two times that we are called to forgive. The first is when someone asks for forgiveness. Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Jesus is extremely clear here. When someone asks for forgiveness, we must grant it, no matter how many times they ask. There is another time in which we must forgive as well and that is when they don’t ask for forgiveness. Romans 12:18 tells us to do all we can to live at peace with everyone. Hebrews 12:14-15 goes on to tell us why we need to do everything we can to live at peace with everyone. When it states that when we do that will keep a poisonous root of bitterness from growing inside of us. This would be a good time to mention that forgiveness is not an easy topic and because of our emotional investment in our hurts, we will sometimes have to fight ourselves to forgive someone especially when they don’t ask. Just like climbing out of a valley, no one said that this would be easy. C.S. Lewis summed it up well when he said, “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.”
After we understand the time to forgive, then it’s time to forgive. Forgiveness can be defined as releasing or dismissing something against someone. Psychologists tell us that forgiveness usually takes two forms, and both are found in Scripture. The first is decisional forgiveness. This is the type of forgiveness that seeks to replace negative behaviors toward the offender with positive ones. This can look like not seeking revenge. This is exactly what we are commanded to do in Romans 12:17-20 when we realize that God will take care of that. God is a just God, and we can trust Him with the outcome of justice in all situations in our lives. This goes back to our first point — forgiveness does not preclude justice. It’s just that we leave justice in the hands of our mighty God, and we are not to seek revenge. If it is someone who has hurt us and has violated the law in doing so, then it’s the law that will deal with the one who brought the harm as well. Law enforcement is part of God’s hand of justice here on earth. Sometimes decisional forgiveness will include avoiding the person who has hurt us for a time, especially if there is no repentance on their side. Paul gives Timothy a list of people to avoid in 2 Timothy 3:2-5. While the goal of forgiveness is reconciliation in all our relationships, sometimes it is necessary to avoid the one who has hurt you for a time. Decisional forgiveness might look like refraining from expressing anger at the hurt — notice I said EXPRESSING anger. A righteous anger over a hurt that spurs us toward obedience to God in handling that situation Biblically is not wrong. We see this type of anger or righteous indignation in the life of Jesus when he became angry over what the religious leaders had done to the temple. Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry but not sin. That sin usually comes when we try to express anger, when we try to seek revenge, when we try to take justice into our own hands, or when we try to hurt someone like they hurt us. Doing the opposite of expressing sin can also cause problems in our lives as well. When we just try to stuff it down inside, we are in disobedience of Ephesians 4:26-27 when we are called not to let the sun go down on our anger because it gives the devil an opportunity in our lives. These are just a few ways in which we can decide to forgive someone, and these are the easiest to do in our lives, when it comes to forgiveness. Then there is the other type of forgiveness — emotional forgiveness.
While decisional forgiveness focuses on our behavior, emotional forgiveness focuses on our thoughts and feelings. When we are hurt, there are many emotions we will experience in a variety of different severities. We will even experience these just by thinking about the hurt years later. When we emotionally forgive someone, we release those emotions by changing the emotional attachment to the hurt. We must want to forgive and want to let go of those negative emotions. When we forgive it will have to be an act of the will through the Holy Spirit. Paul said in Romans 12:2 that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, which when it comes to hurt, would be replacing negative emotions you have toward the ones who hurt you with positive ones like compassion and sympathy. Again this is going to be hard to do, especially depending on the degree of the hurt experienced. We can look to Jesus to show us the example of how to do this. Romans 5:8 tells us that while we were enemies of God — Christ still came and died for us. Ephesians 4:32 tells us that we are to forgive one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven us. Jesus showed us the supreme example of loving those who have hurt us and offering forgiveness to those same ones. We are to do the same, looking to someday restore that relationship. Emotional forgiveness might even look like what we see in Philippians 4:8 when Paul stated, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” That would be to slowly, methodically, and intentionally move away from negative feelings toward the ones who have hurt you — no longer dwelling on the hurt and wrong that you were done. Instead try to see them like Jesus sees them, as broken and in need of a Savior. Let that spur you to pray for them, pray for their salvation and pray for reconciliation.
What Forgiveness does - 2 Corinthians 2:9-11
I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions. When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
Once we forgive someone a variety of things happen in our lives. First is something Paul mentions here. When we forgive, we are obedient to God. We’ve mentioned a couple of verses before about the command to forgive. Besides those, we can look to the Lord’s Prayer. When Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray, He said “Forgive us of our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Forgiveness is ultimately a step of obedience in our lives with Jesus. It's a very hard, but very important step we all must take to find victory in the valley of hurt. As Paul closes out this section of his letter, he mentions something that he also mentions, when he speaks of forgiveness, in Romans and Ephesians. It’s something that the writer of Hebrews points out as well. When we don’t give forgiveness we give Satan a place in our lives, a chance to derail our walk with God. What does Satan usually bring as he tries to derail us? resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger, and fear. The goal of forgiveness is reconciliation. Those things are impossible if you are holding onto those feelings, and those feelings are not hurting anyone except you. When we are obedient and forgive, we don’t let Satan in. We are slowly released from the pain that it has caused to us, we are comforted by God, and we look past the hurt to the future. This is exactly what Jesus did for us. He looked past our sin, saw our potential in Him, and made a way to offer us forgiveness of all our sins. There is one more thing that happens when we forgive, that is extremely powerful and it’s something that Paul showed us when he opened this letter to the church in Corinth. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Paul says “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” When we forgive others and find victory out of the valley of hurt, we can then help others through that same valley. Not only does that give purpose to that pain, but we can show them the way we learned about the power of forgiveness and the victory that can be found over hurts. That only comes through the cross of Jesus and we can use those opportunities to share the gospel with others as well, so they can experience the ultimate forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not easy, but neither is remaining in the destructive “Valley of Hurt". Therefore when we forgive, we must remember that we are not to negate justice when we are hurt. We leave it in the hands of the Lord or in the hands of those who carry out justice here on Earth. We must forgive at the right time. We must forgive both decisional and emotionally. We must know we will experience comfort that only comes through obedience to God. Then we can go and comfort others seeking reconciliation with the one who hurt them if realistically possible. Then we can share the Gospel of how they can find forgiveness with the Lord as well. In this you will find victory through Jesus!
