June 18, 2023
אָב
Psalm 103:8-13
Happy Father's Day!! The role of a Father is a funny thing, and I'm not talking about all those great Dad jokes (personally one of my favorite parts of being a Father). It’s funny because when you ask 100 people to define what a Father is, you will get 100 different answers. Our understanding of what it takes to make a Father is so widely varied because our view is deeply influenced by the example of a Father in our own lives. Sometimes trying to define Father will evoke extreme emotions due to our own experiences and will impact how we understand the role of Father (for better or worse). Occasionally we don't even know where to begin with our definition because we never had a Father in our lives to look up to as an example. Maybe we even look in desperation to TV Fathers for guidance in what a Father should be. There is a lot of confusion when it comes to what defines a Father. Therefore with all this confusion, I want to take this morning and look at Scripture to see what defines our perfect Father - our God. I pray that this morning we will hear some practical advice from Psalms 103 to help us as we pursue our fulfillment of the role of a Biblical Father and we will be encouraged as Christian Fathers
Psalms 103:13
13 The Lord is like a Father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
The best place to start, as we examine some of the characteristics of a Biblical Father, is at the end of today's passage in verse 13. King David (the author) has been worshiping God through adoration all throughout this Psalm. He has been telling God the things that he is thankful for in His character as he worships. He ends this section of the Psalm by summing up that the Lord is like a Father because of all the things David had been praising God for. It’s in these few verses that we see some very practical attributes that Fathers should strive for in their lives so that we can be more like our Heavenly Father.
A Father is to be Compassionate - Psalms 103:8a
8a The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
David starts off this section by declaring that the Lord is compassionate and merciful (we’ll get to the latter part later). What does it mean to be compassionate? It is to look at one's children and be moved to meet their needs. We see God has done that throughout history – in the lives of the children of Israel, David, and all throughout our lives too. Sometimes God meets those needs by bringing good things into their lives (i.e. providing manna in the wilderness to the children of Israel) or by removing things that would be harmful (i.e. commanding many different people in the Old Testament to destroy altars to other gods and false idols). Sometimes it’s by bringing correction and punishment to get them back onto the right track (look no further than the accounts in the book of Judges). God sees the needs of His children and instead of leaving them in the mess they made, He provides for them what they need when they need it. Fathers are called to do the same thing. Many times we understand that compassion means that a Father needs to provide financially for his family (1 Timothy 5:8). There are many other ways a Father is called to be compassionate to his children and family. There are numerous ways to do this because the needs of our children and wife can be very different even within the same family. Since there are two implications in the word that is translated as compassion, we will focus on those two implications this morning. The first is the idea that being compassionate means we will make a lasting impression. When David was speaking about the compassion he had experienced from God he is saying it made an everlasting impression on him - it was a core memory for him. It was something he would remember all the days of his life because God knew him and met his need in such special ways. We should be doing the same thing with our children. We should be making an impression on them by the time and effort we put into them and spend with them. We can’t spend all our time working and think our jobs as Fathers are done. We need to be intentional and take time to make memories with our children. This will be different with each of our children. No matter how we make these memories, there will be a day when we are gone and all that is left are our memories. Will we be remembered as compassionate by our children, or will they just remember that we worked all the time, and fished every chance we got, or did we invest our time in something or someone else more than them? Children are the greatest gift we will ever be given outside of our Salvation and our marriages and we must steward them well. One way we do that is by investing our time to make memories. We need to make Godly memories with them at every chance we get, even through sacrificing ourselves at times. The second part of this word compassion has an emotional component to it. Compassion also calls us to meet the emotional needs of our children. This can be hard for us as Fathers because we usually aren’t that emotional (at least when compared to their Mothers). Children have major emotional needs and we must see that those needs are met. Many times we think we are meeting an emotional need our child might have because we answer it in OUR love language. However we never stopped to make sure we are meeting them on their level and in THEIR love language. We have to make sure we are meeting their emotional needs at all times. While these can vary, there are at least 5 that all children share in common - Safety & Security, Routine, Discipline & Consistency, Encouragement, and Love. Fathers, are you being compassionate to your children?
A Father is to be Slow to Anger - Psalms 103:8-9
8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.
As Fathers we must imitate our Heavenly Father in all aspects. Some of our roles as Fathers are easy, but this one isn’t. We must be slow in our anger toward our children. God being slow to anger is something we can be supremely thankful for in our own lives. Even though we are grateful to partake in this kind of grace, it’s usually a type of grace we have the hardest time showing to our own children. Kids are kids and sometimes they are going to do things that will push our buttons - especially after it’s been a long day already. Our circumstances are no excuse for the way we treat our children. Patience is something that is talked about all throughout Scripture. It’s what true love is (1 Corinthians 13:4). It brings about peace (Proverbs 15:18), and it’s something that God’s people are known by (Colossians 3:12). That list goes on and on. In Psalm 103:8-9 we see a certain aspect of God’s patience He will not constantly accuse or remain angry forever. That means that once an issue has been dealt with Biblically, it’s left alone and is not brought up again. Have you ever been in an argument and something was brought up that you haven’t thought about in years? When we do this to our children we find ourselves in disobedience to Ephesians 6:4. Bitterness and grudges are not something that we are called on to hold as a Biblical Father. Remember we don’t forget these sins once they occur, but we only forget them after they have been Biblically dealt with. That means there are times when we must deal with sin in our children's lives.
A Father is to Punish When Necessary - Psalms 103:10
10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t punish us for every sin as soon as we commit them? After all, the wages of sin is death and if God was not patient with us, none of us would be here this morning. Even though God doesn’t punish us for all our sins, it doesn’t mean that He doesn’t punish us at all. Scripture does tell us that our sins will find us out (Numbers 32:23). We must understand that we can’t look past ALL the sins our children commit because God doesn’t. God does have to punish us at times and that punishment is a part of true grace. There are times in our lives, as well as our children's lives, that punishment must be carried out. It can’t be done in anger or frustration, but in compassion and mercy that God shows to us day in and day out. All children must face consequences for their sins. I’m not talking about accidentally knocking over a glass of juice, I’m meaning when they are disobedient to their parents or to God’s Word. The child needs to understand why they are being punished. Punishment is not to inflict some sort of penalty upon a child just for the penalty's sake, but is to be used as a method to instruct and correct the child when they are doing something that will be detrimental to them as they grow into adulthood. Just think of the times God has had to lovingly correct you. Was He doing it to be mean or to “get you back” for something or was He trying to bring you back to what He knows is best for you? Withholding discipline is just as harmful as punishing out of anger, if not more so. Scripture is very clear that a good loving Father will discipline his children (Hebrews 12:5-6). We need to make sure when the time comes for discipline we are consistent and that we do it Biblically.
A Father is to bring their children to the cross of Jesus - Psalms 103:11-13
11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
13 The Lord is like a Father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
The final thing David mentions about God is how He forgives our sins ultimately. As Fathers we cannot do this. We can forgive our children and not hold grudges, but we can never forgive the sins of our children. We are able and commanded to bring them to the one who can. Fathers are called to be the spiritual leaders of the family (1 Corinthians 11:3), to speak about it at all times (Deuteronomy 11:18-19), and to live our lives as Christ (Galatians 2:20). We are called to live and share Jesus with everyone starting with our own families. We live it out in front of them. We talk about it with them, we are honest about our shortcomings, we pray for them, and we do everything we can to bring them to Jesus. The only thing we can’t do is make them a follower, but we can pray. There is nothing more powerful than prayer.
You might have noticed the title of this sermon is אָב (read from right to left and is pronounced “awb”) It’s a word that is made with the first two letters of the Hebrew alphabet (Aleph and Bet), and is the first word in a Hebrew dictionary that is composed of the words only used in the Old Testament. In Psalms 103:13 we translate it as “Father”. The Hebrew alphabet began as a hieroglyph (or picture-based language) and then it morphed over time into the language we have today. There is an interesting nuance about these two letters in their hieroglyphic form. The first letter “Aleph” is represented by a bull which was a symbol of strength for the Jewish people. The second letter “Bet” is represented by the symbol of a tent or a home (being that the Jews were once nomadic people and tents were their dwelling place). Therefore the picture given by the word “Father” would be seen in its hieroglyphic form as the “strength of the home.” That’s a beautiful picture of the role of both our Heavenly Father as well as a Biblical earthly Father. We are called to a higher standard than this world has ever set, and to a higher standard than many of us have probably ever witnessed here on Earth. I hope we can leave knowing some of the ways we are called to live out our calling as a Father - emulating our Heavenly Father and pointing all of those we call our children to Jesus.
