Biblical Parenting: Discipline
Disciplining your children is an important aspect of parenting. God's Word is pretty specific about this subject.
“Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”
I. With biblical parenting, hope is found in discipline.
“Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;”
Parenting can seem hopeless, involving the temptation of too much second-guessing. The hope of being a godly, successful parent rises and falls with discipline. Discipline is your responsibility.
The purpose of punishment is to inflict a penalty for an offense. The purpose of discipline is to train for correction and maturity. Whereas the origin of punishment is the frustration of the parent, the origin of discipline is a high motivation for what’s best for the child.
You don’t need to lose control or yell at your child. Your authority has already been established by God. They don’t obey because you yell; they obey because they think you’re finally going to follow through. You need to take control and teach them that when you say something, they need to obey.
Often moms and dads feel like they are failing as parents. There may be a sense of guilt. They feel sorry for the children that they can’t give them all that they want. One thing about children is that they are smart. They play upon this guilt, in order to do what they want. You’re the parent, the one God put in control.
Sometimes parents want to be their children’s best friend. Children take great advantage of this attitude and manipulate many parents. You can’t raise children if you’re always afraid they won’t like you. Raising a child takes being willing to not be popular. Parental self-esteem should come through Christ, and not Through their children.
Parents need to stop trying to give more than they had, and to stop operating out of guilt and feeling sorry. It our job to get in the middle of that child’s life. We’re not raising children to be popular, but to be Christ-like.
II. With biblical parenting, discipline is part of the solution not reinforcing the problem.
“do not be a willing party to his death.”
Without discipline, we are part of the problem. We’re a willing party to their destructive choices.
There must be consistent discipline in raising children. The most destructive and most prevalent failure of parents is not being consistent, where “no” never really mean “no”. Inconsistent disciple teaches children that “no” never means “no” and to just keep trying and they’ll get their way.
You have to follow through on your word and impose the expected consequence. When we as parents fail to follow up consistently with discipline, it makes our children very insecure.
Discipline is the proof of love. Knowing that discipline is not pleasant at the time causes pain for both the child and the parent. It produces a child who has skills for life, and who understands how God deals with His children.
We often think that we're expressing love when we repeatedly say, "I'll give you another chance." What we're really doing, though, is neglecting to set boundaries that let our children know they're in a safety zone where they can feel secure and loved. Discipline is evidence of love.
The reason we don't like to discipline our kids is because it involves short-term pain. We're sympathetic to their feelings, and we never enjoy hurting them.
The Bible's perspective on discipline is affirmed by what many psychologists and sociologists are now learning about child development. Children left to themselves will do what all people left to themselves in a fallen world will do. They'll make bad decisions that produce pain and turmoil in their lives. Relationships won't work right, money will be mismanaged and debt will pile up. Conflict will erupt both within and without, and long-term goals will never be realized.
A child who never receives discipline in the home will have a harder time understanding and accepting their need for salvation. If you lay a good foundation of discipline then the transition from discipline to influence is a smooth one.